


Bee Movie PH AU

by vieliteracy



Category: Bee Movie (2007), Purple Hyacinth - Ephemerys & Sophism (Webcomic)
Genre: Crack, F/M, Fanfic, Kieran - Freeform, Lauki - Freeform, Purple Hyacinth, Will - Freeform, William - Freeform, beeran, beeransempai, beexhuman, crackfic, dontlookforwardtothis, ihatethisidjdsjfhsidhf, imsuchadissapointment, imtooilliteateforthis, kieranwhite, kym - Freeform, lauren - Freeform, laurensinclair, oh yesyes, ph, pleasedontexpectmuch, purplehyacinth, whatinplutoesheada55isthis, whatintarnationdidiceatewithmyilliteracy, williamhawkes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-06
Updated: 2020-08-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:01:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25744012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vieliteracy/pseuds/vieliteracy
Summary: According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to be an assassin nor to be partners in crime with a police officer.
Relationships: Lauren Sinclair/Kieran White, William Hawkes/Kym Ladell
Comments: 11
Kudos: 37





	Bee Movie PH AU

Bee Movie PH AU

Written by: Vieliteracy 

Lauren was drained of energy from her part in the 11th-Precinct dealing with a wide amount of crimes daily and paperwork, her eye bags could be dragging on the floor now. Exhausted after her work at the Precinct, she walked home through the long alleyway where all the garden and flowers were mostly planted. She looked at the dark hue of purple on the purple hyacinth as she leaned her head over to smell it. 

“HEY!” a bee with blue diamond-like eyes shouted. Jet black stripes ran along the sunflower shade of its yellow body. 

In shock, Lauren jumped back, startled. “WHO THE HELL ARE YOU AND HOW THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING?!” 

“I am a bee. My name is Kieran, how about you?” he answered as he smirked at Lauren. 

“I—” Lauren took a deep breath, trying to take in all that was happening. “My name is Lauren. Lauren Sinclair. I am an honorable police officer at the 11th-Precinct down the alleyway. My position is a police officer.”

“Well, it is an honor to meet you, Lauren Sinclair.” 

_A lengthy 5 seconds passed by as the wind breezed_. They could almost hear the crickets chirping in the background.

“Well, this has been sufficiently awkward. I will be heading back to my home down the road to the west.” Lauren said. 

“Wait—” As Kieran flew over to Lauren, he said, “Do you mind if I can join in on your home activities?” 

“Well, I mean, I won’t mind. Sure, come along. Hold on to my shoulder. It might be hard for you to fly around in this breeze.” 

Kieran pranced over on Lauren’s shoulder like she asked and later fell asleep. 

“ _HHRHHGHHGHG_ ,” Lauren groaned at him. She contemplated why she was bringing a bee home. How had she ended up agreeing to this? “We have arrived, you pest.” 

“So, this is your house? It’s so—low class and weird what the heck—” Kieran complained. 

“WELL, WHERE DO YOU LIVE?? A CAVE OR SUMN?!” Lauren shouted at him, annoyed.

 _Well,_ Kieran thought, _actually, yes—_

While Lauren unlocked her house door, Kieran observed his surroundings.

“Here, you. You get to sleep on top of my desk in the crack.” Lauren said.

Kieran looked around, seeing a fallen jar filled with tacks spilling all over. He soon realized that the tacks were as big as his body. Then he saw the multiple stacks of paperwork on top of her desk with a big a55 map near her desk.

“Are you sure this is safe? I mean—I could get stabbed with those nasty tacks you got over there—” 

“PFFFFFT, you’ll be okay, bug. Well, at least I think so. I mean, you dying couldn’t change my life.”

Kieran grumbled, irritated.

As the night passed, the crack of dawn arrived, shining through the curtains toward Kieran. He woke up from his horrible sleep. The tacks had poked him the whole night. 

“Get up, you blight, you have to come along with me to my work and meet the others working at the 11th Precinct.” said Lauren.

“Excuse me—? Why should I?” Kieran questioned. 

“Well, you bees feast on nectar or sugar, right? I unfortunately don’t have any of it, and going out to the garden will be too hard for you, since in the morning there are strong breezes and the garden is pretty far away from here for you. And people will swat you when you fly in their faces”. Lauren explained to him.

“Fine,” Kieran whined.

————— At the 11th Precinct —————

“We’re here.”

“What time is it, human?” he asked.

“It is currently 4:50 in the morning, why?” Lauren asked.

“Well, WHY THE HELL ARE WE HERE AT THIS UNGODLY HOUR??”

“Bish, I come here everyday at this hour. You imbecile.”

Kieran sighed.

“HEYY LAURE—”

“HEYYYYY LAUREN GOOD MORNINGGG!!!!” Kym cut off Will. 

“WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, YOU RACCOON?”

Kym and Will kept arguing~~

Kieran tried to comprehend what was happening in front of his eyes.

“OH SHUT UP YOU WH—wait.... is that—A BEE ?!?!!!” Kym yelled.

“OKAY CALM DOWN KYM—so this—this here is Kieran, the bee. I found him in the garden down the alleyway.” Lauren tried to explain.

“You—you stole a bee-? I—” Will jokingly asked.

“OMG, LAUREN, ARE YOU ADOPTING IT??!?!” Kym screamed excitedly.

“WHAT—HELL NO! CALM DOWN GUYS—this darn bee begged me to take him home without a reason.” Lauren said.

_“Begged—”_

“Hello gu-“

“AJAJHJDAJDHDGGHH WHERE IS MY DEAR BUTTLER????? OH MY—OH MY—OH MY WHERE IS MY DEAR BUTTLER??” Lady A screamed, in tears, as she interrupted Kieran’s introduction.

“HEY LADY!!! Come over here!! YOU CAN TAKE WILL!” Lauren yelled.

“WHAT THE HEL—” Will tried to yell.

“OH MY OH MY!! YES, DEAR LAUREN!!! YOU ARE SO INTELLIGENT!!! MY MY, YOU ARE AS HANDSOME AS EVER WILL~~~~~ COME ALONG WITH ME AND HELP ME FIND MY DEAR BUTTLER~~” Lady A screamed.

“LAUREN, YOU WILL PAY YOUR DEBT FOR THIS—” Will yelled as Lady A dragged him out the door.

“TA-TA!!” Kym yelled over to him happily with what just happened.

“Wait… you can talk—- I-” Kym asked in awe.

“Haha, yes. Of course I can, bees are very smart and can talk whenever they wish,” Kieran explained. 

“OMG THAT’S SO COOL HOLYYY!! Hehe. Okayyy, so what is your name again?” Kym asked.

“My name is Kieran White, I like blood.” Kieran explained.

“Well that is interesting sir, my name is Ky—” 

“Kym, yes yes that is your name. You are a watermelon, size ten and a half. Seedless too, as I believe.”

“I—LAUREN!! WHAT IN PLUTO’S NAME HAVE YOU BROUGHT BACK TO 

THIS BUILDING—BISH I SWEAR, I BET HE’S ALSO A NOTORIOUS 

ASSASSIN, YOU KNOW!!” Kym yelled.

“Well… I mean, you’re not wrong.” Kieran muttered.

“Excuse you—what did you just say?” Lauren asked angrily.

“Well I only asked to come along with you so we could be partners in crime. We could exterminate humans together.” Kieran said to Lauren.

 _What the actual hell is wrong with this damn 2 inch bee. Is he saying that i could easily kill in an instant—_ went Lauren’s mind.

“Oh my gosh. YOU ARE SUCH A—COOL BEE, WHAT THE HECK?” Kym said excitedly.

Kieran smirked crookedly at her. “Now you, you watermelon, are a smart one with the highest IQ of all.” 

**Author's Note:**

> what in jupitors mother buttox scrawny oompa loompa butt crack did i just write with my illiteracy, the pain it was for me to write in capitalize every “I’s” and the beginning of a sentence like what the crap. and the pain i had to go through searching up how to spell words like “lieutenant” like i- im too illiterate for this complicated crap. 
> 
> Beta Reader/Editor: "[Andromicat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Andromicat/)" , Volsento  
> 


End file.
